Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.

__________________________________________________________

Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went
into extra time.

_________________________________________________________
Customer: Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter: Please sit down sir; we serve everyone
 

_________________________________________________________

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.

_________________________________________________________

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a  commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, “Order,
order.”
The drunkard immediately responded,
“Thank you, your honor, I’ll have a scotch and soda.”
_________________________________________________________
Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master: Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer: I bet you, it won’t.
Post Master: Why not?
Customer: It’s addressed to Mumbai.
________________________________________________________
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love.

________________________________________________________

1st thief: Oh! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief: Hurry! This is no time for superstitions.
________________________________________________________

Teacher: Correct the sentence, “A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”
Student: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher: How?
Student: Ladies first!!!
________________________________________________________

Waitter: I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg.
Customer: Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

_________________________________________________________

Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting,
“Daddy!  Daddy!  I got a 100 in school today!”"That’s great, Sweetheart,” said her daddy.
“Come in to the living room and tell me about it.”
“Well,” began the confession, “I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math’s and 20 in
science.”

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