Joke No 1-$5000 loan

Before going on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000.

The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral.

“Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce,” the man said.

The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank’s under- ground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.

Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank’s doors, asked to settle up his loan and get his car back.

“That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest,” the loan officer said.

The man wrote out a cheque and started to walk away.

“Wait sir,” the loan officer said, “while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire.

Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?”

The man smiled. “Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in for two weeks and pay only $15.40?”

Joke No 2-The Three Astronauts

America, Russia and Japan are sending up a two year shuttle mission with one astronaut from each country. Since it’s going to be two years up there, each may take any form of entertainment weighing 150 pound or less.

The American approaches the NASA board and asks to take his 125 lb wife.
They approve.

The Japanese astronaut says, “I’ve always wanted to learn Greek. I want 150 lbs of books to learn Greek with.”
The NASA board approves.

The Russian astronaut thinks for a second and says, “It’s gonna be two years up there. I want 150 pounds of the best Cuban cigars ever made.”
Again, NASA okays it.

Two years later, the shuttle lands and everyone is gathered outside the shuttle to see what each astronaut got out of his personal entertainment.

Well, it’s obvious what the American’s been up to, He and his wife are each holding an infant. The crowd cheers.

The Japanese astronaut steps out and makes a 10 minute speech in absolutely perfect Greek. The crowd doesn’t understand a word of it, but they’re impressed and they cheer.

The Russian astronaut stomps out, clenches the podium until his knuckles turn white, glares at the first row waving a chewed up cigar at them and says:

“Anybody got a match?”

Joke No 3:- 3 Guys In Heaven

Three friends die in a car crash. They all make it up to St. Peter, but there’s a problem.

It seems that they were not supposed to die in that car crash. St. Peter takes them to the edge of heaven and tells them that they can return to Earth in any form they wish to live out their lives.

All they have to do is to shout out what they want to become and leap off the edge.

The first man runs to the edge and shouts, “Eagle!” He turns into a magnificent eagle and soars away.

The second man runs to the edge and yells, “Lion!” He becomes a powerful lion and bounds away down a mountainside.

The third man runs to the edge, stubs his toe just before reaching the edge, and shouts, “Ow! Shit!”

Joke No 4:- nobody around…

Once, there was this guy, who personally felt that he has committed lots of sinful crime and therefore decided to visit a church and confess all his crime.

When he arrived at a church, he walked to the confession area and talk to the pastor.

“Father, I am sinful.” “Yes son, just tell me what have you done, Lord will forgive you.”

“Father, I have a steady relationship with my girlfriend, it’s been 3 years and nothing serious ever happen between us.

Yesterday, I visited her house, nobody was not at home except her sister. We were alone and I slept with her.”

“That’s bad my boy, fortunately you realise the mistake.”

Father, last week I went to her office to look for her, but nobody was around except one of her colleague, I slept with her too.”

“That’s not very good of you.”

“Father, before last month, I went to her uncle house to look for her, nobody was around except her auntie, and I slept with her too.”

“Father?… Father?”

Suddenly this guy realise that there was no response from the Father, he walked over and discovered that the

Pastor was not there, and he began searching for him.

“Father? Where are you?” He searched high and low, and finally he found him hiding under the table behind the piano.

“Father, why are you hiding here?”

“Sorry son, suddenly, I remembered there is nobody around here except me.”

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